I sure have an odd lifestyle

I seem to spend more time in that stinkin' car these days than get to stay home. So, because of that fact, I've decided that riding on the dash and stretching out across it gives me a much better view in navigating for my oh so easily manipulated humans. Needless to say, this isn't going over well with Mom. One of them always ends up dragging me off from that excellent vantage point and putting me back on my space in between the seats, on my cushy bed. When will these STOOPID humans ever figure out that I can help them decide where to drive to if I can see firsthand where we are going?

Of course, I'm always happy to go along with them, happy to stay in the car, after all, I own the entire back seat, litter box on the floor, food and water on the other side, my hidey carrier with my blanket inside in the middle of the seat, toys in a basket in the rear window (which I always scatter all over the car) and another bed in the rear window, where I can observe even more stupid humans when I'm stuck waiting on whatever they do when they leave the car.

Today, just me and Mom went to town, she went into that building where that man I really don't care for is in all the time (however, I do like his home- his wife is really nice and isn't in my face and just loves it when I play their piano). Then we went to another friend of hers and hung out there the rest of the day. They played on the computer and I checked out the basement, pantry (was hoping to find better munchies than what I have at home) and finally gave up on leaving, so I curled up and went to sleep on my bed, AFTER I went through their entire home, looking for anything of interest. Come to think of it, I left one of my toys there. We'll be back, no doubt. Geez, I have to have a few things scattered around the country!

Now, Mom is sitting in her recliner, watching the boob tube and I'm thinking of my next move to get her to come to bed, it is after all, past our regularly scheduled time for her to turn on the boob tube in the bedroom and start settling in for the night.

Oh, and on a side note- she recently set up my Google home page with all kinds of toys for me. Now I have a hamster on a wheel, that I can't play with, but I have to feed- an aquarium with fish swimming around. That one is really fascinating! And these eyeballs that follow the pointer around. I find that toy somewhat disturbing, along with the ridiculous penguins that come waddling to the pointer when I move it there.

Whatever happened to some decent eats and good brushing?

Whipping the Humans into Shape, YEAH!

My mom is smart, she is a "getter", yeah........ she gets it. I tried to give her the subtle hint about this business of another cat sleeping on the bed (who cares if they were here first?) by not coming to bed at night- So, last night I virtually PUT MY PAWS DOWN!

I got up on the dresser and stared at her, then I walked in front of the TV (she's always watching that thing at night, late) and what finally got the message across was when I laid down on the floor and ignored her. Oh, she tried that nonsense of picking me up and bringing me to bed (when are humans ever going to learn that doesn't work?) and of course, I got right back on the floor. You see, that blob of a cat that they call "Bob", who is extremely vocal (geez, what a whiner) was bedded down at the foot of the bed and wouldn't budge.

I won't have it, period. That bed is mine and my mom's. I sleep right next to her on my own blanket and I will not have any other occupants in that bed as long as I'm around!

She finally got the message when she let the blob out early this morning. Then, I got into bed, right next to her, on my blanket and all was right in my universe. I can tolerate that old, geriatric cat they call "Lilli"- she's wise enough to sleep in her own bed on the hamper. Oh, she comes and snuggles with mom for a bit at night, but prefers to get into her own bed after they get their snuggling over with. Lilli isn't going to be around that much longer and hey, she is 20 years old, so I can cope with her, especially given the fact I give it my best shot at harassing her at least 4 times a day. That always gets my mom away from whatever she's doing...... *meow*

A few days ago, I went with mom to Chloe's house. For those of you that don't know, Chloe is an older, uh, heavy, gray cat that absolutely detests my presence, but she likes to eat my food, so I make it a point to use HER litterbox. Mom had some things to do there and that guy from the store where she has taken me was  (I think he lives there) was there with us. He's always trying to pet me, too. The woman who lives there is really nice, she's tolerable, but that man, I dunno- he keeps sticking his face into mine and I'm much more interested in nosing around that house than allowing him to fawn all over me. Silly humans!

We were there for a long, long time that day- so long I finally started enjoying myself.  I don't think she was too impressed, either. Because the next day, she left me at home!!!! I heard her tell someone on the phone that "I got too comfortable" or something to that effect. Bitch.

At least I got her straightened out on who owns the bed.

Happy Valentine's Day

To my human "Mom"

Who loves me with all her heart

unconditionally and much 

more than I deserve.

Love,

(>" "<)

(='o'=)

(,,)-(,,)

All it did was snow

today. So, I did what any intelligent feline would do......

I slept. A lot. When I did get up, "mom" said something about a mouse, so I kept a real close eye on her and she produced one of those lovely critters, throwing it in my bed. Of course, I immediately pounced on that sucker, ran to the bedroom with it and that silly excuse of a wiener dog followed me, taking my mouse away and ate it.

Fifteen minutes later, the dummy is puking it up.

As much as I really enjoy playing with those things, I really enjoy seeing that dog puke up MY toys even more. Serves him right. "Mom" is always griping about that dog destroying MY toys. Like his toys aren't good enough.

Maybe if I suck up a bit, she'll go get me another one of those mice to give to the dog again....... for some reason, I love hearing that dog getting griped at.

Out & About

I'm currently stuck in a truck that smells like POOP!

My carrier was left out and had I known I would get stuck riding in the noisy, smelly, filthy thing that the man always is driving, I would have not so earnestly jumped to the opportunity to tag along with MY human.

To make things worse, those two other men that come in MY house every day are with me and my peeps and they smell worse than this truck. Maybe they are the reason this truck reeks so bad. Yep- that's it.

Something was said about "cat food" which no doubt means I'm going to get a new toy, hopefully some more mice. The noisy hotdog that lives in MY house keeps chewing up my mice. Little bastard!

(> " " <)
( ='o'= )
(,,)♥(,,)
Sent from my U.S. Cellular BlackBerry® smartphone

Humans, what they really don't know......

"Mom" hasn't a clue, but........ I have my own email account set up on her Blackberry. HA! She's not the only one that has the talents to figure out all these little technological goodies. Just what do you humans think we are up to when you're not paying attention? We're definitely emulating what you do when we appear to be merely observing. *meow*

I promise to answer all my emails and I'm also trying to get my bratty brother here to co-author and keep you posted on his pampered life. Although, I must mention that I am probably more spoiled than he is. My mom holds back nothing when it comes to my comforts, wants and desires.

Oh, and if anyone has any suggestions as to what my mom should be looking to obtain for my entertainment or nutritional needs, don't be afraid to leave a suggestion or send me a message! Or maybe send her a message. Yeah, that might work!

Time for a nap!

So Sue Me!

I never did get to post anything yesterday but, I have a perfectly valid excuse!

It is Hughesnet fault. "Mom" was griping all day long about "FAP", which seems to be something about "downloads" and then everything gets slow. She wouldn't even allow me near this thing. Good news is I finally got my own thing to tap, tap, tap on and now I play on it whenever I want.

I'm so pampered

Deservedly so. I have these humans around here so well trained, every other feline in the universe should be taking note! It's so easy, just suck up on occasion- look cute, act like they're they only living thing on the planet that exists, talk in a nice tone, don't yowl, sing. Oh, don't forget to pose on occasion and look good. Give them that "look" of "Oh, pet me, yes, pet me", close those eyes, s   l    o   w   l   y, then look them deeply in the eye, close them again, show 'em some belly.......

These types of behaviors will always get them to let their defenses down and they will let you off the hook when you really want to create a bit of havoc.

Oh, and another thing? When you sleep with YOUR human, don't be so needy! Snuggle, but don't lay all over them, touch them on the neck or face, but keep some distance. One thing that works every time is prepare them for beddy-bye! Act silly for a short time then, burrow under the blankets, curl right up against them and PURR. Yes, purring is important, it has that hypnotic effect on them. Trust me, they actually BELIEVE that purring is a reaction to their devotion they expound upon us. Works like a charm.

During the day, sleep- sleep as much as possible (this shouldn't be too difficult), look good when you sleep! Curl up, roll on your back, LOOK CUTE. Yeah, humans just fall for this stuff, literally drool all over themselves looking at us while we are sleeping. My mom never fails to get out her camera.


See what I mean? Like I said, Look cute.

I will be reporting

In the morning, what I manage to accomplish while the humans are unaware and sleeping.

Annoying the old dog is always fun, not to mention snooping around on the kitchen counters......

Stay tuned!

Adorable Baby

Found! My baby photos taken when I first arrived in my new home! My much adored human (she is so OWNED!) has this strange habit of sticking a camera in my face when I'm busy looking cute. I'm really good at it, too.




That mouse lives in the car. Which is something I'll get to in a minute.
This is what I look like now, my adored human took this the other day while I was busy lounging about (as usual).

My human mom really does love me and I bet you can see why! Now, onto the driving thing. From the day my mother and brother left for their new homes, my human mom started taking me out with her. She never bargained that I really do enjoy hanging around with her, no matter what she's doing, including her trips to town, work and other people's homes. I'm even satisfied waiting in the car (I now have a really cool carrier that has a heating unit in it!) Am I spoiled rotten or just spoiled?

I don't like to sit in any carrier UNLESS that door is open or I have that choice of getting out. I tend to make quite a bit of noise when I'm forced to ride in my carrier, unable to help direct with the route those damn humans take on our trips. I've been teaching them that I need to see where we are headed and help them navigate and watch out for those brainless deer. The humans are always discussing that I'm not truly safe riding out in the vehicle and sometimes they get paranoid and make me ride enclosed within the carrier, which I just have to accept at times. I get it and payback will come later.

I like to go with either my human mom or both of them so much, I figured out early on that if "mom" is putting on a particular coat and her nice, furry boots- it's time for a ride! Nope, she's NOT leaving without me! I have her trained so well, too. She learned right away, bring out my carrier and put it on the kitchen table, I'll get in without any fuss at all! She's so easy to teach. Smart human!
Oh, and that mouse? It lives in the car because one of the dogs that lives here deliberately TAKES MY THINGS and chews it up or disembowels it. He has his own toys, I guess mine are better because he won't leave them alone, so some of them stay in the car. In fact, I have a basket of toys in the car for my entertainment and the dog can't have them, neener neener!

She does tend to get a bit testy when I try and ride on the dash- she just doesn't get that I can truly navigate better that way- oh well, jumping on the back of the seat and getting on her shoulder suffices. She doesn't care for that, either.

Sometimes we go to the place where she works and I get to run up and down those aisles, play hide and seek, get on the counter and play with everything on it. There's a lot of neat things to play with in that place, too. The man in there is always trying to suck up to me, I just ignore the guy. He and his wife have a nice piano at their home and a feline lives there that is never happy to see me, but that's okay- they have a piano that is fun to make noise on. Nothing gets us out of their house faster than me playing that piano. "Mom" tends to talk too much and I have things to do, like sleep, in my own bed, in my own home. I do enjoy that store, I have to admit. One of these days, I'm going to investigate that basement that I'm not allowed to check out.... I just detest it when I'm told "no".

Time for me to get back to harassing the geriatric feline that lives here- I'm always getting in trouble for making her squawk. Geez, I really do need a playmate that I can play with and not get in trouble. Somehow, I doubt that's going to happen around here. I do keep "mom" busy enough. It's now bedtime, time to start bugging her to come to bed- besides, my litter box has something in it and needs cleaned out.

Time for a test run......

I'm almost 5 months old now and at some point, my human needs to learn that yes, I am going to start exploring the house at night (heh heh, I was in the bathroom during the wee hours last night and got caught!). I didn't get into trouble and I returned to my usual spot next to her in bed, loudly purring just to let her know, "I still am happy to snuggle with you".

I'm a fairly grateful feline, being what is deemed a "rescue". My birth mother and brother were literally discarded in an alley during the cold months of early winter when I was about 5.5 weeks old or so. Next thing I knew, my brother, mother and I were put in a car and taken for a long, long ride. Next thing is we all got shampooed and I wasn't impressed, but those pesky fleas took a hike! We lived in a nice room, kept warm and well fed until about a week after arriving- mother and brother left and I got stuck with my human, some man, 2 dogs and several other mutt cats, who seem to have very little interest in me. I try playing with them, but all I got was my foot bit out of it and an abscessed pad that my human kept messing with!

I settled in without my mother and brother quickly and here's were I spend my days-


Don't I have the most beautiful eyes you have ever seen? I get to spend my days right on my human's desk as she works or whatever she does (all I hear is tap, tap, tap and some yapping). I've made it a point to remove all the writing things she uses to the floor, too. Occasionally, I attempt to do some of that tapping thing myself, but get moved away from that thing her hands are always occupying. I figured out immediately how to stop that nonsense, too. It's called, "suck up" and "snuggle" in her arms, purr loudly and lick her. Her behavior is so predictable- she stops and pays attention to only me and of course, when I get sick of it, I go back to my bed and sleep some more.

Next time I post, I'll tell you how I'm teaching her to drive, including how I taught her to make sure I get to go along where ever she goes!