I sure have an odd lifestyle

I seem to spend more time in that stinkin' car these days than get to stay home. So, because of that fact, I've decided that riding on the dash and stretching out across it gives me a much better view in navigating for my oh so easily manipulated humans. Needless to say, this isn't going over well with Mom. One of them always ends up dragging me off from that excellent vantage point and putting me back on my space in between the seats, on my cushy bed. When will these STOOPID humans ever figure out that I can help them decide where to drive to if I can see firsthand where we are going?

Of course, I'm always happy to go along with them, happy to stay in the car, after all, I own the entire back seat, litter box on the floor, food and water on the other side, my hidey carrier with my blanket inside in the middle of the seat, toys in a basket in the rear window (which I always scatter all over the car) and another bed in the rear window, where I can observe even more stupid humans when I'm stuck waiting on whatever they do when they leave the car.

Today, just me and Mom went to town, she went into that building where that man I really don't care for is in all the time (however, I do like his home- his wife is really nice and isn't in my face and just loves it when I play their piano). Then we went to another friend of hers and hung out there the rest of the day. They played on the computer and I checked out the basement, pantry (was hoping to find better munchies than what I have at home) and finally gave up on leaving, so I curled up and went to sleep on my bed, AFTER I went through their entire home, looking for anything of interest. Come to think of it, I left one of my toys there. We'll be back, no doubt. Geez, I have to have a few things scattered around the country!

Now, Mom is sitting in her recliner, watching the boob tube and I'm thinking of my next move to get her to come to bed, it is after all, past our regularly scheduled time for her to turn on the boob tube in the bedroom and start settling in for the night.

Oh, and on a side note- she recently set up my Google home page with all kinds of toys for me. Now I have a hamster on a wheel, that I can't play with, but I have to feed- an aquarium with fish swimming around. That one is really fascinating! And these eyeballs that follow the pointer around. I find that toy somewhat disturbing, along with the ridiculous penguins that come waddling to the pointer when I move it there.

Whatever happened to some decent eats and good brushing?

Whipping the Humans into Shape, YEAH!

My mom is smart, she is a "getter", yeah........ she gets it. I tried to give her the subtle hint about this business of another cat sleeping on the bed (who cares if they were here first?) by not coming to bed at night- So, last night I virtually PUT MY PAWS DOWN!

I got up on the dresser and stared at her, then I walked in front of the TV (she's always watching that thing at night, late) and what finally got the message across was when I laid down on the floor and ignored her. Oh, she tried that nonsense of picking me up and bringing me to bed (when are humans ever going to learn that doesn't work?) and of course, I got right back on the floor. You see, that blob of a cat that they call "Bob", who is extremely vocal (geez, what a whiner) was bedded down at the foot of the bed and wouldn't budge.

I won't have it, period. That bed is mine and my mom's. I sleep right next to her on my own blanket and I will not have any other occupants in that bed as long as I'm around!

She finally got the message when she let the blob out early this morning. Then, I got into bed, right next to her, on my blanket and all was right in my universe. I can tolerate that old, geriatric cat they call "Lilli"- she's wise enough to sleep in her own bed on the hamper. Oh, she comes and snuggles with mom for a bit at night, but prefers to get into her own bed after they get their snuggling over with. Lilli isn't going to be around that much longer and hey, she is 20 years old, so I can cope with her, especially given the fact I give it my best shot at harassing her at least 4 times a day. That always gets my mom away from whatever she's doing...... *meow*

A few days ago, I went with mom to Chloe's house. For those of you that don't know, Chloe is an older, uh, heavy, gray cat that absolutely detests my presence, but she likes to eat my food, so I make it a point to use HER litterbox. Mom had some things to do there and that guy from the store where she has taken me was  (I think he lives there) was there with us. He's always trying to pet me, too. The woman who lives there is really nice, she's tolerable, but that man, I dunno- he keeps sticking his face into mine and I'm much more interested in nosing around that house than allowing him to fawn all over me. Silly humans!

We were there for a long, long time that day- so long I finally started enjoying myself.  I don't think she was too impressed, either. Because the next day, she left me at home!!!! I heard her tell someone on the phone that "I got too comfortable" or something to that effect. Bitch.

At least I got her straightened out on who owns the bed.

Happy Valentine's Day

To my human "Mom"

Who loves me with all her heart

unconditionally and much 

more than I deserve.

Love,

(>" "<)

(='o'=)

(,,)-(,,)

All it did was snow

today. So, I did what any intelligent feline would do......

I slept. A lot. When I did get up, "mom" said something about a mouse, so I kept a real close eye on her and she produced one of those lovely critters, throwing it in my bed. Of course, I immediately pounced on that sucker, ran to the bedroom with it and that silly excuse of a wiener dog followed me, taking my mouse away and ate it.

Fifteen minutes later, the dummy is puking it up.

As much as I really enjoy playing with those things, I really enjoy seeing that dog puke up MY toys even more. Serves him right. "Mom" is always griping about that dog destroying MY toys. Like his toys aren't good enough.

Maybe if I suck up a bit, she'll go get me another one of those mice to give to the dog again....... for some reason, I love hearing that dog getting griped at.

Out & About

I'm currently stuck in a truck that smells like POOP!

My carrier was left out and had I known I would get stuck riding in the noisy, smelly, filthy thing that the man always is driving, I would have not so earnestly jumped to the opportunity to tag along with MY human.

To make things worse, those two other men that come in MY house every day are with me and my peeps and they smell worse than this truck. Maybe they are the reason this truck reeks so bad. Yep- that's it.

Something was said about "cat food" which no doubt means I'm going to get a new toy, hopefully some more mice. The noisy hotdog that lives in MY house keeps chewing up my mice. Little bastard!

(> " " <)
( ='o'= )
(,,)♥(,,)
Sent from my U.S. Cellular BlackBerry® smartphone

Humans, what they really don't know......

"Mom" hasn't a clue, but........ I have my own email account set up on her Blackberry. HA! She's not the only one that has the talents to figure out all these little technological goodies. Just what do you humans think we are up to when you're not paying attention? We're definitely emulating what you do when we appear to be merely observing. *meow*

I promise to answer all my emails and I'm also trying to get my bratty brother here to co-author and keep you posted on his pampered life. Although, I must mention that I am probably more spoiled than he is. My mom holds back nothing when it comes to my comforts, wants and desires.

Oh, and if anyone has any suggestions as to what my mom should be looking to obtain for my entertainment or nutritional needs, don't be afraid to leave a suggestion or send me a message! Or maybe send her a message. Yeah, that might work!

Time for a nap!

So Sue Me!

I never did get to post anything yesterday but, I have a perfectly valid excuse!

It is Hughesnet fault. "Mom" was griping all day long about "FAP", which seems to be something about "downloads" and then everything gets slow. She wouldn't even allow me near this thing. Good news is I finally got my own thing to tap, tap, tap on and now I play on it whenever I want.

I'm so pampered

Deservedly so. I have these humans around here so well trained, every other feline in the universe should be taking note! It's so easy, just suck up on occasion- look cute, act like they're they only living thing on the planet that exists, talk in a nice tone, don't yowl, sing. Oh, don't forget to pose on occasion and look good. Give them that "look" of "Oh, pet me, yes, pet me", close those eyes, s   l    o   w   l   y, then look them deeply in the eye, close them again, show 'em some belly.......

These types of behaviors will always get them to let their defenses down and they will let you off the hook when you really want to create a bit of havoc.

Oh, and another thing? When you sleep with YOUR human, don't be so needy! Snuggle, but don't lay all over them, touch them on the neck or face, but keep some distance. One thing that works every time is prepare them for beddy-bye! Act silly for a short time then, burrow under the blankets, curl right up against them and PURR. Yes, purring is important, it has that hypnotic effect on them. Trust me, they actually BELIEVE that purring is a reaction to their devotion they expound upon us. Works like a charm.

During the day, sleep- sleep as much as possible (this shouldn't be too difficult), look good when you sleep! Curl up, roll on your back, LOOK CUTE. Yeah, humans just fall for this stuff, literally drool all over themselves looking at us while we are sleeping. My mom never fails to get out her camera.


See what I mean? Like I said, Look cute.